Hi, Thoughts

Bet I don't trust people who say "I put that on my mama." It's weak. A cop-out. I can put anything on anyone in the world as long as it ain't me. Put your own life on it.  These past holiday weekends summed it up best. I'm with my oldest friends in the entire world. I'm seeing almost everyone I've needed to mend issues with and talked to a few who I couldn't. The year, which was a roller coaster ride of emotions and changes, was looking to end on a high note. All was right in the world.  One particular night with my brothers over the holiday, I'm discussing bets I made years prior with people we all know collectively. "Pay me my money!" The rant was long and epic but if you ask the those who were there, the only thing I wanted was what was owed. We laughed and laughed at the ideas being expressed but the only one that was important was "Pay me my money!" I owe people money. A lot people. People in part...

Boyfriend NYE 2019. Or is it 18? Which year do we say? The present year or the coming year? I hate when twitter hashtags become your encyclopedia. None of that matters now. I'm in my room crying for the first time in years. Balling. Big baby bitch tears. I crafted a letter to my first boyfriend. We weren't fucking. We aren't even gay. He was just my boyfriend. He would take me around town and country and expose me to things I'd never seen before. I was always with him. He loved me and I loved him. He was my boyfriend.  I hated him. He made me do things I didn't want to do. Comedy being one of them. I was there when he started his comedy career. Not like when he first told a joke and people around him laughed but I was there the first time he went on stage. He killed. I think. Or who knows. He took me to so many comedy clubs it was hard to count. And club after bar after hall he would fight and be irrational and be charming and hilarious, honest, outgoing ...

Reality Check I love capitalism. At least the idea. "Pay what you owe." Well what I do owe. I owe whatever you're willing to sell this for at the agreed price for which I'm willing to buy this for barring any coercion or straight lies. This what I do everyday as a server. When a patron comes to the restaurant they are expecting what they expect from either a place like this, the presentation/placement of the venue and usually equate price with quality from there. With me I'm expected to know how to serve a variety of different people with varying preferences, know the menu, know what to do what when, where things go, be prompt and know how to make people feel comfortable eating.  So how do customers know what they are about to pay for? Here comes the internet. You can see reviews from dozens, hundreds, and thousands of people on any of the concerns you have, see the menu and even see pictures of the items and the venue on dozens of apps, websites and pa...

Bet I don't trust people who say "I put that on my mama." It's weak. A cop-out. I can put anything on anyone in the world as long as it ain't me. Put your own life on it.  These past holiday weekends summed it up best. I'm with my oldest friends in the entire world. I'm seeing almost everyone I've needed to mend issues with and talked to a few who I couldn't. The year, which was a roller coaster ride of emotions and changes, was looking to end on a high note. All was right in the world.  One particular night with my brothers over the holiday, I'm discussing bets I made years prior with people we all know collectively. "Pay me my money!" The rant was long and epic but if you ask the those who were there, the only thing I wanted was what was owed. We laughed and laughed at the ideas being expressed but the only one that was important was "Pay me my money!" I owe people money. A lot people. People in part...